I've been avoiding my blog for the last couple of weeks now. All I've wanted to blog about was my Grandmommy and I just couldn't bring myself to do it for fear of the tears. I'm learning, though, that even when you think you'll never stop crying, you will. The tears will stop and the joy will return.

It's been 3 1/2 weeks since Grandmommy went to be with Jesus and I have cried everyday since her Homegoing. I hate it, but she was one of the most important people in my life, so cry I will. Tonight I washed my hair and happened to grab one of her towels. As I type I can smell her thanks to her towel around my head. :) I love that smell!

Grandmommy was the most giving, selfless, sacrificially loving person I have ever and will ever meet. I could talk to her about anything. My talks with her are moments I will cherish for the rest of my life. She had 8 grandchildren, but when you were with her, she made you feel as if you were her only one. Gosh, I just love this lady. Our "thing" we always did together was to go grab a slice of pizza and a coke and just talk for hours. When each of the 8 grandkids were 5 years old, she and Granddaddy took us to Disney World. I've seen much of the world thanks to her. She was one of my biggest supporters in my mission trips, even though she thought I might be crazy for going. ;)

Most importantly, Grandmommy loved Jesus more than life. I know she is with Him now and is beyond ecstatic that her faith has become sight. I know I will see her again and until then, I'll be waiting for all this to be turned into dancing.

"You turned my wailing into dancing..." Psalm 30:11

Because I have to believe this...

For His Glory

On road trip #2 this weekend, I had the privilege of traveling with some friends, Chris & Cheryl, to see Reverend Wuni, pastor of a church in Ghana. I wanted to share with you the beautiful story he told us about my friend, Rebekah.

About a month after our trip to Ghana last year, my Ghanian friend, Rebekah, came down with a horrible case of malaria. Jesus ended up calling her Home after only a few days in the hospital. Her family and friends took her body to a little village just outside Tamale called Tuuningli. As her grave digger was digging, he began to ask questions about Rebekah's Jesus and by the time Rebekah's funeral was over and her body was buried, this grave digger had become a new follower of Jesus Christ! One year later, God has used this little grave digger to plant the only Christian church in this little village called Tuuningli.

God does things we can't understand that ultimately flourish with His glory. Praise the El Roi, the God who sees us, Who sees deeper and further than we can even begin to imagine.

"She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: 'You are the God who sees me,' for she said, 'I have now seen the One who sees me.'" Genesis 16:13 NIV

Psst...

Disclaimer: Blogworld, I have 2 things to tell you. This is one, however... well, it just might not be as interesting to you as it is to me. Fair warning. ;) I know it's been such a long time since we've been together, but this is just what happens when you take a road trip with your BFF.

Ode to my BFF, Nicholle.
1. aka French Fries
2. Remember when we almost ate there?
3. RIP El Mercado... and Be My Cupcake
4. Valero....... x2
5. Welp, that's embarrassing.
6. Oh and then... Psst... HUH???
7. If you don't have a Nicholle, then I highly recommend you get one. There's just something about them that makes your life.... amazing.

Feed My Sheep

Do you ever have those days when you are just dumb-founded by grace? I do. A lot. Mostly because I need His grace... a lot. Thursday was a dumb-founded by grace day.

A friend of mine retold Simon Peter's story to me today, and I encountered Jesus. You remember Peter's story: He boldly told Jesus that he would go with Him to prison and even death, but instead Peter denied His Lord three times. Once he realized what he had done, Peter spent the rest of the night weeping bitterly (Luke 22:31-34, 54-62). Even after seeing Jesus resurrected and being commissioned and given the Holy Spirit, Peter went back to fishing - his way of life prior to his relationship with Jesus (John 20-21).

Isn't it like Satan to do that? We totally mess up and he convinces us that we can't be who God created us to be. We have to return to our old way of doing things. We have to go back to our nets and fish.

But... if we listen to Jesus, we'll hear something completely different.

After helping Peter and friends catch some fish, Jesus invited them to breakfast. After breakfast, Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him three times. This is where I'm fascinated: If we could read Greek, we'd find that first, Jesus asks Peter if he "'agape's" Him. (Agape is that perfect, unconditional love God gives.) Peter answers with, "Yes, Lord. You know I 'phileo' You." (Phileo is that imperfect, friendship kind of love we, as humans, can give.)

Whoa. Peter told Jesus that his own love for Him is conditional, imperfect, and ultimately weak. Peter just confessed to the only Son of God that he is incapable of loving Him perfectly. So what happens next? Does Jesus reprimand Peter? Does He tell Peter that phileo love isn't enough? That Peter needs to work on ____, ____, and ____??

No. Jesus responds immediately with, "Feed My sheep."

Wow. Peter recognizes his own weakness, knowing that he can't 'agape' Jesus. Peter knows that he's only capable of 'phileo' love and confesses it. And JESUS ACCEPTS IT. Not only accepts it, but restores Peter and tells him to do what he was created to do: Feed His sheep. (John 21:15-19)

WOW. I'm dumb-founded.

"Satan has asked to sift you like wheat. But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And you, when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." Luke 22:31-32 (HCSB)

With a Broken Heart...

It's days like this when I remember this is not my Home. This past week was full of so many heartaches, I don't even know where to begin. (The Lord, in His infinite mercy, provided plenty of reliefs, though, so I don't mean to be a total Debbie Downer.) It's heartaches like these that lead us to cling to the Almighty:

A dissolved marriage.

A chemo patient.

A seizure.

A crime.

My heart is just in pieces for all these people. If you would say a prayer for each of the people involved in the above events, I would be so grateful. God knows who you'd be talking about. May they each find rest in the shadow of their Almighty.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High shall rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1

Tisha B'Av

I love history, especially Jewish and Christian history, so I'm giving yall a history lesson, free of charge. ;) Tonight (Thursday) at sunset through tomorrow's sunset is a Jewish fast called Tisha B'Av. According to tradition and their calendar, this is the day when both Temples were destroyed (obviously several hundred years apart). Today our Jewish friends will fast, deeply mourn, and recite Lamentations. They will be mourning the loss of the Temple and, I'm sure, will be praying for the rebuilding of a third Temple.

Let's pray for our Jewish friends today. May the Truth of Jesus resound and be revealed to them today. May their hearts be softened by their One and Only Messiah. May they know the Truth. And may that Truth set them free.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail." Lamentations 3:22 NIV