I've been avoiding my blog for the last couple of weeks now. All I've wanted to blog about was my Grandmommy and I just couldn't bring myself to do it for fear of the tears. I'm learning, though, that even when you think you'll never stop crying, you will. The tears will stop and the joy will return.

It's been 3 1/2 weeks since Grandmommy went to be with Jesus and I have cried everyday since her Homegoing. I hate it, but she was one of the most important people in my life, so cry I will. Tonight I washed my hair and happened to grab one of her towels. As I type I can smell her thanks to her towel around my head. :) I love that smell!

Grandmommy was the most giving, selfless, sacrificially loving person I have ever and will ever meet. I could talk to her about anything. My talks with her are moments I will cherish for the rest of my life. She had 8 grandchildren, but when you were with her, she made you feel as if you were her only one. Gosh, I just love this lady. Our "thing" we always did together was to go grab a slice of pizza and a coke and just talk for hours. When each of the 8 grandkids were 5 years old, she and Granddaddy took us to Disney World. I've seen much of the world thanks to her. She was one of my biggest supporters in my mission trips, even though she thought I might be crazy for going. ;)

Most importantly, Grandmommy loved Jesus more than life. I know she is with Him now and is beyond ecstatic that her faith has become sight. I know I will see her again and until then, I'll be waiting for all this to be turned into dancing.

"You turned my wailing into dancing..." Psalm 30:11

Because I have to believe this...

For His Glory

On road trip #2 this weekend, I had the privilege of traveling with some friends, Chris & Cheryl, to see Reverend Wuni, pastor of a church in Ghana. I wanted to share with you the beautiful story he told us about my friend, Rebekah.

About a month after our trip to Ghana last year, my Ghanian friend, Rebekah, came down with a horrible case of malaria. Jesus ended up calling her Home after only a few days in the hospital. Her family and friends took her body to a little village just outside Tamale called Tuuningli. As her grave digger was digging, he began to ask questions about Rebekah's Jesus and by the time Rebekah's funeral was over and her body was buried, this grave digger had become a new follower of Jesus Christ! One year later, God has used this little grave digger to plant the only Christian church in this little village called Tuuningli.

God does things we can't understand that ultimately flourish with His glory. Praise the El Roi, the God who sees us, Who sees deeper and further than we can even begin to imagine.

"She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: 'You are the God who sees me,' for she said, 'I have now seen the One who sees me.'" Genesis 16:13 NIV

Psst...

Disclaimer: Blogworld, I have 2 things to tell you. This is one, however... well, it just might not be as interesting to you as it is to me. Fair warning. ;) I know it's been such a long time since we've been together, but this is just what happens when you take a road trip with your BFF.

Ode to my BFF, Nicholle.
1. aka French Fries
2. Remember when we almost ate there?
3. RIP El Mercado... and Be My Cupcake
4. Valero....... x2
5. Welp, that's embarrassing.
6. Oh and then... Psst... HUH???
7. If you don't have a Nicholle, then I highly recommend you get one. There's just something about them that makes your life.... amazing.

Feed My Sheep

Do you ever have those days when you are just dumb-founded by grace? I do. A lot. Mostly because I need His grace... a lot. Thursday was a dumb-founded by grace day.

A friend of mine retold Simon Peter's story to me today, and I encountered Jesus. You remember Peter's story: He boldly told Jesus that he would go with Him to prison and even death, but instead Peter denied His Lord three times. Once he realized what he had done, Peter spent the rest of the night weeping bitterly (Luke 22:31-34, 54-62). Even after seeing Jesus resurrected and being commissioned and given the Holy Spirit, Peter went back to fishing - his way of life prior to his relationship with Jesus (John 20-21).

Isn't it like Satan to do that? We totally mess up and he convinces us that we can't be who God created us to be. We have to return to our old way of doing things. We have to go back to our nets and fish.

But... if we listen to Jesus, we'll hear something completely different.

After helping Peter and friends catch some fish, Jesus invited them to breakfast. After breakfast, Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him three times. This is where I'm fascinated: If we could read Greek, we'd find that first, Jesus asks Peter if he "'agape's" Him. (Agape is that perfect, unconditional love God gives.) Peter answers with, "Yes, Lord. You know I 'phileo' You." (Phileo is that imperfect, friendship kind of love we, as humans, can give.)

Whoa. Peter told Jesus that his own love for Him is conditional, imperfect, and ultimately weak. Peter just confessed to the only Son of God that he is incapable of loving Him perfectly. So what happens next? Does Jesus reprimand Peter? Does He tell Peter that phileo love isn't enough? That Peter needs to work on ____, ____, and ____??

No. Jesus responds immediately with, "Feed My sheep."

Wow. Peter recognizes his own weakness, knowing that he can't 'agape' Jesus. Peter knows that he's only capable of 'phileo' love and confesses it. And JESUS ACCEPTS IT. Not only accepts it, but restores Peter and tells him to do what he was created to do: Feed His sheep. (John 21:15-19)

WOW. I'm dumb-founded.

"Satan has asked to sift you like wheat. But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And you, when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." Luke 22:31-32 (HCSB)

With a Broken Heart...

It's days like this when I remember this is not my Home. This past week was full of so many heartaches, I don't even know where to begin. (The Lord, in His infinite mercy, provided plenty of reliefs, though, so I don't mean to be a total Debbie Downer.) It's heartaches like these that lead us to cling to the Almighty:

A dissolved marriage.

A chemo patient.

A seizure.

A crime.

My heart is just in pieces for all these people. If you would say a prayer for each of the people involved in the above events, I would be so grateful. God knows who you'd be talking about. May they each find rest in the shadow of their Almighty.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High shall rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1

Tisha B'Av

I love history, especially Jewish and Christian history, so I'm giving yall a history lesson, free of charge. ;) Tonight (Thursday) at sunset through tomorrow's sunset is a Jewish fast called Tisha B'Av. According to tradition and their calendar, this is the day when both Temples were destroyed (obviously several hundred years apart). Today our Jewish friends will fast, deeply mourn, and recite Lamentations. They will be mourning the loss of the Temple and, I'm sure, will be praying for the rebuilding of a third Temple.

Let's pray for our Jewish friends today. May the Truth of Jesus resound and be revealed to them today. May their hearts be softened by their One and Only Messiah. May they know the Truth. And may that Truth set them free.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail." Lamentations 3:22 NIV

If only...

These people must've received their inspiration after watching a Ghanian wedding. :) This is perfectly normal in a Ghanian wedding - except add 50 more people walking down the aisle with the bride. If only my church would let me do this... ;)

Restoration

You know those times when your soul sings? When it just soars and sings away? Oh, I love those moments! I prayed for a moment like that just today (although I admit not believing it to happen anytime soon.) ... I've just been craving for my soul to sing.

And then it happened. Completely unexpectedly, too - only the way God works. :)

A deep friendship was restored to its rightful place tonight. Amazing. Only the hand of God could do something like this.

And now, my soul is singing...

I love Him.

Watch.

3 Books You Must Read This Summer

#1: Jesus Wants to Save Christians by Rob Bell
In.cred.i.ble. Yall. There are no words except that this book WILL change you. Disclaimer: And by the way, I'm DEFINITELY not a Rob Bell fan whatsoever. This book is just that interesting.

#2: The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning
I accidentally read this all the way through when I was browsing at a book store. It's just that good. Jesus loves me and you.

#3: Crazy Love by Francis Chan
I'm actually only in chapter 2, but I have to make a complete list of 3, you know. And plus, this book rocks and I'm only in chapter 2 so I know the best is yet to come. Ah, the crazy love of God.

Hangin with Superman

Yesterday, I had the privilege of hangin with my friend, Noah, while his mommy took baby sister to the doctor. I love kids but hanging out with Noah always reminds me that I can't wait to be a mom one day - if the Lord wills it of course. If He doesn't, I'll be content being as much of a mommy as I can to all the other children I meet along the way. :) Anyway! I simply had to share Noah's mad cooking skills in pictures... if only I had thought to take more from the beginning!

Noah carefully placing each worm.

Noah stealing, er... taste testing... a couple worms.

Noah's Dirt

The fellas enjoying some dirt and comics.

A Must Read

Be convicted. Read this.

Sponsor a Child

***Found this blog in my "drafts" collection, and finished it. One down, 1359087 more to go. Stay tuned...***

Last summer in Ghana, our team visited a World Vision office and got to meet one of our team member's sponsored children. We also visited a Compassion International Compound and watched their kids put on a show for us. These experiences led me to sponsor a child in Ghana through World Vision. Her name is Nmowai Sonja, a precious 6 year old who got to start school this year. She has written me twice. Her first letter was a picture of an orange. She's my kind of girl: totally random. Go figure.

Anyway, I tell you all this for two reasons. Number one: I've been convicted. I have been reading Melissa (Moore) Fitzpatrick's blog on her Compassion trip to India. Her team's sponsor children have kept EVERY SINGLE ONE of the letters their sponsors have written to them. And I have yet to write Nmowai! Sad day!! This will now be my #1 project this weekend.

Reason number two: Sponsor a child through World Vision. (or any other sponsorship program!) I've seen firsthand what World Vision does with the sponsors' money and I know they are who they say they are. $30.00 a month will give your child - and his/her community! - basic necessities that we are blessed with each and every day: school, clean water, clothes, nutrition & agricultural education, and spiritual nourishment, just to name a few.

So, eat out one less time with your beau a month and sponsor a child instead. Eternity will be changed.

Worship in the Park

The above, blurry, cell phone picture would be a stage where Chris Tomlin is singing. Yes, I definitely just got back from worshiping our Lord with CHRIS TOMLIN. I adore worshiping with him - you have no idea. It all goes back to LPC Youth Camp where he taught me how to worship Jesus - not only in song, but in life. There's something about worshiping with Chris Tomlin that brings me back to those youth camp days - those special youth camp mountain top experiences. I had a taste of that mountain top this evening and you betcha' that taste was not enough. So, with my new Sword in hand, I'm climbing this mountain. I'll be sure to let you know the new treasures I find along the way!

p.s. The last time I saw Chris Tomlin, we (me chris and 9 other high school girls) had lunch and he sure did call me "steph." No lie. We've been BFFs ever since. (ok that part might be a lie... ;-) BFFs in spirit..... ;-)

VBS: International Style

This is the week of weeks!! I have been waiting for this week for so long, and I must say, I never could have imagined or believed for anything greater. This week, we're holding a VBS for all of our little refugee friends. I must admit, I have been beyond stressed on getting everything - and everyone! - together for it. I really did not think it would all come together... and then tonight happened. And God blew Himself out of that little box in which I had placed Him. Amazing. I took a few pictures and as I get more time... and energy... I'll write more details. Just know that God is bigger than we could ever imagine. You know that. I just tend to need more reminders. Maybe one day I'll get it. ;)

Dear Blog,

Oh how I miss thee. I can't wait for summer when we can spend all the time in the world together. I have a whole list going of things to tell you. It's gonna be good.
5 more days,
me.

Who Knew?

I love Easter. It is always such a ... romantic! time with Jesus. On Friday, I went to LPC to watch the Passion of the Christ. This year, they set up an interactive prayer room called "The Way of the Cross" - POWERFUL. It was the perfect mournful/blessed date night with Jesus.
I watch the Passion movie every year (well since they've been showing it) at LPC and each year I hear something new. Two things I heard this year were:
"If you will not hear the truth, people will not speak it to you." - Pontius Pilate's wife. Whew!
"See, I am making all things new." - Jesus, to His mama, on His way to Golgotha. Beautiful.

Ok, I hope all that made sense. I'm trying to multi-task by watching tv and blogging at the same time. My whole point to this blog was the following random trivia I learned today:

Did you know that Santa Claus was at the Council of Nicea (the group God chose to physically put His Word together into the Bible)? In fact, Saint Nicholas was one of the most outspoken people there about the Trinity doctrine. Who knew!? (Random fact info thanks to the Bible Answer Man, Hank Hanegraff in his book, "The Bible Answer Book")

Arise

Jesus is pretty stinking amazing. As if you didn't know. :)

My little Bhutanese friends are PRECIOUS. This past Tuesday, we talked about Jesus praying in the garden and we made little prayer slips about what we want to tell God. One little girl wrote, "I love you Jesus and you love me." My soul sings. Please pray for us this Tuesday as we are presenting the rest of the story about how He is our Saviour - their Saviour! I can't wait!!

Life has been pretty insane the past few months. I almost feel like I've been in the ocean, without a boat, during a white squall. Pretty intense. I've now been washed ashore and I hear, "Arise." I'm seeing what all God has done in my midst and it's pretty beautiful. Nehemiah's story has been the echo throughout all of this. We've been studying it in Sunday School and then my favorite blog has been writing about it. There are bricks to be laid and walls to be built. We can't just talk about the bricks and the walls, we have to go out there and BUILD. We must live out what He gives us. What exactly that means for me is difficult to discern, but what I'm finally getting is that, just as Nehemiah did, I can only listen to HIS voice. We can't just talk about talking to God and we can't ask each other what God wants and expect to receive a coherent answer. Third parties always get the information muddled in some way - in all circumstances but especially when it comes to His voice. We simply need to go to Him directly - seek Him and He will answer.

Memory Verse #7

My Lover spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with Me."
Song of Solomon 2:10

Oh man. My soul is singing. More on this verse later!!! :)

Memory Verse #6

Forget the things that happened in the past. Do not keep on thinking about them. I am about to do something new. It is beginning to happen even now. Don't you see it coming? I am going to make a way for you to go through the desert. I will make streams of water in the dry and empty land. Isaiah 43:18-19 NIRV

I LOVE this verse.

Jesus Loves the Little Children

On Tuesday night, we told the Chimariya children about how much Jesus loves children. I wish you could have seen their faces. MOST.BEAUTIFUL.SIGHT.EVER. Their little brown eyes got so big and their little mouths fell open and broke out into smiles. Oh it was beautiful! I have to do this the rest of my life.

"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" Matthew 19:14

Grace in Abundance

Do you ever have those times in your life where you absolutely know that you have totally screwed up and traveled down the Point of No Return? Well, I have. More than once too. It's a wretched place to be, that Point of No Return, because that place lies to you. Stones are thrown at you, perhaps with good intentions from the thrower, however the stones only seem to instigate the lies. Everything about the Point of No Return makes you believe that God's grace truly can't reach as far as you've traveled - or perhaps that He doesn't want His grace to reach that far. And so you keep traveling, aimlessly and brokenly, down the Point of No Return. Then, without even looking for it, you feel a drop of grace fall on you from The Throne Room - perhaps through His Word, His creation, or - in my current case - a conversation with a dear friend and sister in Christ. And it's there in that moment that you realize you can turn around and even - dare I say it - run to God, the Father who has been watching for you, waiting for you to return all along.

It's there that you realize that first drop was only a taste of the Floodgates of Grace that poured out on you when you repented. Oh Grace. Grace. God's Grace. Grace that is greater than all our sin.

"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding." Ephesians 1:7-8

5th Memory Verse

I totally forgot to put my memory verse on here but rest assured it's in My Lamp (ie deck of index cards) and almost memorized! ;)

So do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded, you need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36 NIV

Your Life in 6 Words

Beth Moore always has fun blog ideas. Here's how I want my life summed up if only six words can be used:

"Your feet are beautiful," said Jesus.

OR perhaps

Until all nations know their Savior.

Hopefully both will be true one day. How would you sum up your life in six words?

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!'" Romans 10:14-15

4th Memory Verse

They'll rebuild the old ruins, raise a new city out of the wreckage. They'll start over on the ruined cities, take the rubble left behind and make it new.
Isaiah 61:4 (The Message)

3rd Memory Verse

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." Isaiah 44:22 NIV

Since all the cool kids are doing it: The Random Post :)

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I absolutely LOVE random, funny t-shirts. I collect them.
2. I sometimes feel sorry for inanimate objects. ex: I feel sorry for the gum wrapper when I throw it in the trash. Weeeird.
3. I've been playing the piano since I was 8. I wish I still took lessons.
4. I also kinda play the French horn, mellophone, and the guitar.
5. I wanted to be an actress when I grew up, so when I was younger, I "practiced my acting skills" by making up totally random stories about myself. ie: I was born on an airplane from London, so I'm British.... I'm pretty sure no one ever believed me. ;)
6. When I was 12, I knew JTT was The One.
7. I love to laugh.
8. Starbucks is my home away from home.
9. I hate talking on the phone.
10. I sleep walk and sleep talk. And both have gotten me in trouble on more than one occasion. ie: The Snake Attack of '08 and the Roommate Scare of '03.
11. I love the smell of winter.
12. I love reality tv - except for those goofy shows where you have to eat gross things. Yuck.
13. My top 2 fears in life are: eating foreign foods and being attacked by birds. I'm working hard on being brave and trying new foods; however, the bird fear will remain with me forever.
14. I used to be very afraid of dogs. My childhood best friend and I were always chased by dogs around the neighborhood. I am still somewhat nervous around large dogs.
15. I totally stress out my eye doctor because I wear my contacts far too long. I get a lecture every time I go to see her.
16. I am madly in love with and madly proud of my 3 "little" brothers.
17. I'm pretty sure my childhood best friend and I were almost kidnapped when we were about 8 years old. I still get a creepy feeling when I see an old beige pick-up truck because that's what the guys were driving.
18. I am a sympathetic barfer. Gross I know. Therefore, the Golden Rule in Miss Broyles' class is: Don't puke. Ever.
19. I have the best job in the whole world... on most days. :)
20. I played softball for 7 years.
21. I love to dance. Especially to songs I know because then I get to sing and dance.
22. I love learning about and experiencing new cultures and people.
23. I love songs that tell a story.
24. I hate watching sports on tv, but I love watching any and all sports in real life.
25. Jesus is my Everything.

Lifeline

New Beginnings

I am so not one for change. In fact, I hate it. I just like for things to be the way they are, the way they've always been. I'm one of those who has an assigned seat in the sanctuary during the service - though I do try to mix it up depending on which service I'm attending... that can count as a change right? Oh if only life were easy and change-free.

It's not that way, though. So I'm not going to wallow in the current changes, but instead look at the... bright side? New Beginnings.

It's a New Year.

We have a new president today. This is a new beginning for America. No matter which way we voted, we pray it's a good beginning.

And finally, I have my own personal beginning. Not to get too personal for blogworld, but a 3 1/2 year (on and off) relationship has come to an end. (The final end too!) To be honest, it's awful and horrible... and the best thing that could happen to the both of us. It's wretchedly sad... and gloriously wonderful. World Mandate is this weekend and it could not have come at a better time. God orchestrated the whole thing. I am SO excited to have a weekend where I am completely drowning in worship and God's Word... It's going to be good.

So here's to new beginnings and the hope that comes from the Rescuer of my Soul and the Binder of the brokenhearted. I love Jesus.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

2nd Memory Verse

About Benjamin he said:
"Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in Him,
for He shields him all day long,
and the one the LORD loves rests between His shoulders."

Deuteronomy 33:12 (NIV)

2009 Resolutions

I always love setting goals and making resolutions for the New Year. So here we go for 2009:

1. Indulge in Jesus & His Word: Memorize (or deeply meditate on) 2 Scriptures each month. (Thank you, Beth Moore, for this idea!)

2. Journal (at least) once a week: so I will remember what God has done for me and see His work in my life.

Short and sweet... so I can keep up with it. What's your New Year's Resolution?

*Here's my first memory verse:
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

2008: The Re-cap

2008 was a whirlwind of a year. God was beyond good to me and my family. These are 5 Names of God I will take with me through 2009 because of who He was in 2008:

• God was my Healer - using World Mandate, Brenda, Mona, Ghana
  
• God was my Provider - using many family and friends to get me to Ghana
• God was my Sustainer - allowing me to work with my Bhutanese friends each week
  
• God was my Encouragement - providing a renter for my condo so I can quickly get out of debt and do other things with my finances... like DTS?? maybe?? We shall see in 2009! :)
• God was my Almighty - taking care of my dad through the heart troubles

May He continue to do awesome things this year. I'm looking forward to what He will bring and do in 2009! Happy New Year, friends!

"O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1