Rain is Coming

Leaning on these words today.  Grasping really.  Clinging to the hope they bring because: Rain is coming.

Being in a complete desert for 5 years is exhausting.  Perhaps the drought has at times been self-induced... very self-induced... but then sometimes, we just live in a fallen world and droughts, and all the devastating hardships they bring with them, are simply inevitable.

But FIVE YEARS?

I can't even imagine 40.  That's just beyond comprehension for me and pray ... BEG this drought will not last 35 more.

My parents and I do a Bible study every summer (well at least, we have done a bible study together now for the last 3 years...) and I just love it.  I love the idea of studying God's Word together as a family.  I can't wait for the day when my entire family will join in.  May it be so, Lord!

Anyway, as much as I loved studying with them this summer, I totally flaked out on it!  I was in it for 3 solid weeks, then the last 3 or so weeks of it, I don't even know what happened!  So weird because the material was so good and readily applied to daily life... but I flaked.

So here we are, weeks after the study was supposed to be over, and I finally watched the last 2 videos by myself.  God's timing in the midst of my flakiness just awes me though.  Maybe there's more to it than just our flakiness.  The God of the universe will use anything to get our attention in His time I guess!  And this reminder: Rain is coming, could not be more timely.

In my little kindergarten class, we had a unit this past week on "All About Me."  This unit is always so fun because the kids are at the age where they are really becoming aware of who they are, their family, and their environment.  I gave my students their first take home project I called, "All about My Name."  They were supposed to research different aspects of their name, like how many letters and syllables it has, its meaning, and why their parents picked that name.  I modeled this project for them using my own first name: Stephanie.  As a kid, I never really cared for my name.  It kinda sounds twangy, very 80s, and while it was super popular in 1982 (I graduated high school with about 5 other Stephanies that I can distinctly remember), let's be real: no one names their kid Stephanie anymore! 

As an adult, my name has kinda grown on me though.  There's this man named Stephen in the Bible.  And he died for his belief in Jesus and in fact, was the first known martyr for Him.  Even more, the Bible says Jesus STOOD UP from His throne when that happened.  Whoa.  Ok, sharing a name with someone like that, that's pretty cool.  Not that I was named after him.  My parents actually 'found' my name when looking at the names of the ballerinas in a playbill of a ballet they attended while pregnant with me. I love that my name is shared with someone as beautiful and graceful as a ballerina and another as strong and mighty as a martyr for Jesus.

Further still, the meaning of Stephanie: crowned with victory - those words could not be more beautiful to me.  As I shared the meaning of my first name with my class this week, the drop from Heaven I felt was unmistakable.  As if Heaven Himself hugged me for a moment, giving the approving nod of this promise:  rain is coming.  I will be crowned with victory.  Mercy DOES triumph.

As we wait out our time in the desert, let's not give in to the grumblings of our heart and mind.  Let's certainly not give up and quit this race.  Let's promise to look for that one small cloud in the sky.  Even if we have to look 7 times or 70 times before it appears.  Just remember, with that small cloud: Rain is coming.

"After a long time, in the third year..... ... the famine was severe in Samaria....  And Elijah said to Ahab, 'Go, eat and drink, for there is the sound of a heavy rain.' So Ahab went off to eat and drink, but Elijah climbed to the top of Carmel, bent down to the ground and put his face between his knees.  'Go and look toward the sea,' he told his servant.  And he went up and looked.  'There is nothing there,' he said.  Seven times Elijah said, 'Go back.' The seventh time the servant report, 'A cloud as small as a man's hand is rising from the sea.' ... Meanwhile, the sky grew black with clouds, the wind rose, a heavy rain started falling..."  1 Kings 18:1-2, 41-45

Question 2.0

For one part of my New Year's resolution, I asked the question: What do I believe?

I have broken down that list into more specific topics that I will be researching this year. I'm not going to put a time line on each, rather I will research until I am satisfied with the information.

My topics (as of right now):
1. The Bible
- accuracy
- God-breathed
- inerrancy
- infallible
- authority

2. God
- existence
- Trinity
- providence
- prayer

3. Creation
- evolution
- soul
- man
- sin

4. Jesus
- existence
- soteriology
- miracles

5. Holy Spirit
- existence
- role
- authority

6. The Church
- church

7. Afterlife
- Heaven
- Hell

8. Spiritual world
- angels
- demons

9. Uniqueness of Christianity
- other major world religions: Judaism, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, etc.

This is quite an extensive list to be researched in just a year so I know I won't have all the answers by the time 2012 comes around. Since I've been raised in the church, I do have ideas on each subject, but I long for depth! Further up and further in is what my goal will be this year. Ok, here we go!

New Year's Resolutions 2011

Happy New Year!

I love this time of year. It just seems like people are so hopeful, optimistic, and ready for something new. I love that attitude. I'm looking forward to 2011 and accomplishing the goals I set for this year. So, without further ado, here are my 2011 New Year's Resolutions:

1. A project: I want to get involved with an organization to raise money to help people in need. I want to raise funds by running some kind of race. I'm being vague with this one because I'm still researching races and organizations. I definitely have some ideas going, but if any of you (I know, all 2 of you... if that many...) can point me in a certain direction or have any thoughts or ideas, I would love any help!

2. A question: If you know me at all, you know that 3/6ths of my family have felt the faith and turned to atheism/agnosticism. So, with that, I am going to ask: What do I believe? I want my faith to be strengthened and I don't want to take any of it for granted. While I know I will never have all the answers this side of Heaven, I want to know as much as I can, so I intend to focus my attentions on as many questions and topics regarding my belief system. I am so excited!

3. A quest: My quest will help in my research of what I believe. I am going to visit both the Creation Museum and the Smithsonian's Human Evolution Exhibit. (Special thanks to the Relevant Magazine, again, for that idea!) It should be very interesting!

What are your New Year's Resolutions?

Too excited...

Ok, I seriously need to be better at blogging. I am so much better taking the time to decorate my blog than actually writing in my blog. Go figure. But, 'tis the time for New Years resolutions and I am just so stinking excited about mine that I simply had to tell you that I'm stinking excited about mine. I have to wait until New Year's Day to reveal everything, though... Right? I hope I can wait that long...

If you're struggling for some inspiration, check out Relevant Magazine's Rachel Held Evans and her 7 tips to a less boring NY Resolution. My resolutions are thanks to that article.

Ok, ok, let me just give you a hint so I can go to sleep!

My New Year's Resolutions involve:
1. A project.
2. A question.
3. A quest.

Oh man! I'm so excited. Are you planning your New Year's resolution(s)?

do something

I just want yall to see this. Because sometimes when we see, we remember. And sometimes when we remember, we do: we pray, we give, we go. Please do.

Kisses from Katie's blog

Adoptionbug.com

Adoptionbug.com is a wonderful site where families can raise money to help fund their adoptions! The site is loaded with awesome t-shirts and precious faces of orphans and families. Here's one t-shirt I ordered:


Love it!! Help bring an orphan home to his/her forever family!

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

Where My Heart Is: Ghana

I wish I would bring myself to Blog World more often. I have so much to tell you and I just never allow myself to sit down and type it all out. Currently, I'm sitting in an office where my man is working hard for his livin'. He really is so cute while he works, answering all those phone calls. Sweet boy.

Anyway, I suppose I'll get to my point of this post: Ghana Mission 2010.

When you travel to the same place more than once, you tend to compare your previous experiences to your current one (at least I do!). I prepared myself for these comparisons and tried not to do that this time around.... But really, how much more could He teach me in the same surroundings? with some of the same people? doing virtually the same activities?

(Ridiculous. Go ahead. Roll your eyes at me. I know I am.)

I had no idea.

The Lord blew me, along with my ever-present pride, out of the water. And I am so beyond glad that He did.

Going on mission trips, the focus is generally on other people. We (I) forget about the work God does in our own lives. And that's pretty much what God did: worked inside me. For two weeks, I was constantly discipled by Ghanian Christians who GET IT. They absolutely get this thing called discipleship. They absolutely get this thing called Christianity. They absolutely get the call of Jesus to deny themselves, carry their cross, and follow Him. They get it. Period. I told my dearest Ghanian friend, Gideon, that truly, they are the ones who need to come to America and teach us what Jesus meant when He said, "Follow Me."

During the course of those two weeks, we worked along side men and women who get up everyday at 4:00am, meet at church and pray from 4:00-5:30am. Then, they go home and the men lead a one hour family devotional. And then, they get ready and go to work! Everyday, they do this! I'm amazed.

Gideon's church is participating in a 30 day fast. Each night of the fast, they meet at their church for a two hour prayer meeting, and then break fast together when the sun sets. For 30 days, they are doing this! Everyday! For 30 days!

We also worked alongside with a pastor, Pastor Mohammed, who, when he found out how sick some of our team were, stayed up all night long and prayed. I don't think my best friend would even do that for me, nor would I think to do that for her. :(

But this is how these Christians live. It is simply their way of life. They don't have access to all of our fancy Bible study books, our cushioned seats, air-conditioned churches. They simply read God's Word, study it together, and then live it out.

Wow.

I also had the privilege of holding babies whose mommies died while giving them life and whose daddies could not (or would not) care for an infant. Praise God He does not leave them (or us!) as orphans (John 14:18). Precious, precious babies. I'm pretty sure I met my future daughter in that bunch, by the way. One can hope. ;)

One day, while I was holding one of those precious babies, the CAPTIAIN OF THE BLACK STARS, JOHN MENSAH came to donate a palate of goods to the orphanage!!! Be still my heart!!! I sure did get a picture of us! Whew. Dream come true. I seriously need to post my pics.

Anyway, so basically, my heart was left in Ghana. Again. And I'm ready to go back. Today. We'll see what God has in store. All I know is, no matter where we are on this planet, our commandment is to go and make disciples.

Recommended reading: Radical by David Platt

"Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations...." Matthew 28:19

The Stoning of Soraya M.

We have no idea.

I'll repeat: We simply have no idea.

I watched a film this afternoon that has changed my life and I'm recommending it to the world: The Stoning of Soraya M. It isn't for the faint of heart so gather up some courage before you see it. It is rated R. It is extremely graphic in its violence.

And it really happened.

And it is happening all over the world; simply change Soraya's name to another.

I'm not even sure what I can write about it. Soraya's story took place in a country where my God is shunned and another is worshipped. Where women and children are treated so unjustly. Where a child is handed a stone and told to throw it at his mother... And he does it. Where human life has no worth.

The thing is, this story could happen anywhere. My country is full of people who worship idols. My generation isn't that far removed from the one where women had no legal rights in this land. And how we forget. And how we take for granted all this freedom. I absolutely believe this: God gives to all. He also gives to some to give to all. My freedom (spiritually, physically, etc.) was given to me to bring freedom to those in chains, to bring a voice to the voiceless, to bring hope to the hopeless. The same Power that raised my Savior from the dead is also in me, and is in you if you know Jesus.

We have to do something.

So what do we do? I have an idea about what is happening now, so God, what do I do??

"'Then neither do I condemn you,' declared Jesus." John 8:11

Annoyed & Stewing & Thankful

I.hate.bedrest. In case you haven't heard from all my facebook statuses, I have pneumonia. I'm partially annoyed because of all that. However, I'm mostly annoyed and stewing because I've had pneumonia this entire time and a certain professional, we'll call him Dr. Certain Professional, neglected to tell me. I'm here to rant about this Dr. CP because I now have plenty of time to be annoyed and stewing and ranting. ;) Maybe I'll be of sound mind later and delete this, but alas, you have been warned: this is a rant!

It all started last week on spring break when I woke up with a sore throat, which turned into a cough, which turned into a low grade fever. Probably allergies? So I cancelled my doctor's appointment I had made last Friday. Dumb move because I woke up on Saturday with 101 fever and lungs full of yuck and had to go to urgent care and pay double to see the Dr. Certain Professional (who isn't my usual awesome doctor, Dr. Beau Meyer!) Dr. CP listened to my chest and diagnosed it as bronchitis and sent me on my way.

Saturday night was wretched. My fever was up to just about 103 and I couldn't catch my breath for anything. Sunday when I *thankfully* woke up, I went back to the doctor - and Dr. CP was still the only one there - and I requested an x-ray just to make sure it wasn't pneumonia. He was highly offended that I'd be scared of a doctor's misdiagnosis and haughtily said that I needed to give my meds some time to work. Sorry, buddy, but I know of a girl my age who just went to be with Jesus last week because of pneumonia. As much as I'd love to see Jesus face to face, there's still plenty of work to be done around here, so I want that x-ray. So Dr. CP takes my x-ray and shows me this streak of white on my lung and tells me that it's a collapsed lung and thinks it "wouldn't hurt you to be on another medicine to prevent pneumonia now." Those were his words. He writes me a prescription for Levaquin - maybe you know what that is, however I didn't. I thought it was a preventive med.

I go home and do all these breathing treatments and exercises Dr. CP told me to do, thinking I'm trying to reinflate my lung and prevent pneumonia. I make a follow-up appointment with my amazing usual doctor, Dr. Meyer, for Tuesday (yesterday).

Yesterday, I saw Dr. Meyer's precious face and told him that I had a collapsed lung and I was just here to see if I reinflated it. He takes a look at my x-ray from Sunday and says, "Girl, you you have pneumonia!" ...... what? I asked him if Dr. CP knew it was pneumonia. He did, and "that's why he prescribed Levaquin. Levaquin is the 'big guns' for pneumonia. You usually see collapsed lungs with pneumonia." .... WHAT?? Dr. CP didn't tell me I had pneumonia or any of this about that medicine. So Dr. Meyer whisks me off to get another x-ray to see if this medication is working. It is, thankfully, so I don't have to be admitted to the hospital, however I can't go back to work the rest of the week and I have to be on bedrest.

Sigh.

I have plenty to be thankful for, though. I'm thankful I'm still breathing which means I can still take part in all the work God has for us to do. I'm thankful that God gifted people with the abilities to make big gun meds like Levaquin so I don't have to go to the hospital. I'm thankful for Dr. Meyer. I'm thankful for amazingly understanding principals and co-workers who wouldn't let me in the building yesterday to fix sub plans for the rest of the week. They did the sub plans for me. Wow. I'm thankful for my mom who went with me to all these doctor's appointments - and who was a witness to Dr. CP's behavior so I know I'm not crazy! I'm thankful for my dad who makes me laugh because he's highly susceptible to pneumonia/respiratory illnesses, so he's avoiding me like the plague (I'm avoiding him too... as I'm on bedrest at my house. I don't want to give this to him - or anyone for that matter!) ;) I'm thankful for my cute boyfriend, who, when he found out I was now on bedrest for 6 more days, got me a video game to play. That made me smile because it was so randomly thoughtful. And of course, I'm thankful that my God is a healer. The Healer, who can and will do anything to set His children free.

"I run in the path of Your commands, for you have set my heart free." Psalm 119:32

Every Girl's Dream...

It is every girl's dream to have a man fight for her (in some form or fashion, should a situation arise). Well, my dream came true last night and I simply had to share my experience with you.

All growing up, I have had issues with food. I am the pickiest eater the good Lord ever made and I really have tried to change. It's harder than you think but I think I'm a little braver than I was one year ago! Ordering with me at restaurants generally takes awhile because I have to change at least something on my order 99% of the time. I've been warned that this little trait of mine would come to bite me one day. Little did those nay-sayers know that it would make a dream come true!

So there I was at Chili's last night, ordering the Cajun Chicken Pasta... minus the chicken... sub french fries for the chicken (since I'm paying for the chicken anyway, may as well try to get something else for my money!) And my sweet waiter, Joe, looked at me with a quick, slightly strange, barely noticeable look, but very politely said he'd get me my order. Hooray! No questions asked! (They always have questions for me.)

15-20 minutes later, this is what happens:


In case you can't tell, that would be french fries in a pasta dish. Complete with alfredo sauce drizzle. I laughed hysterically, and the manager (who brought us our food) looked at me strangely and said, "Is that right??" Well, technically... I had failed to request the french fries on the side. My bad.

When Joe comes to check on us, he sees that I had pushed my fries to the side and says, "Oh, did they put too many fries on your pasta??" ...... I reply, "Oh well, no it's fine, I just pushed them over to the side." Sweet Joe, "Oh no! You did mean on the side! I fought for you with the cooks because I thought this is what you wanted." PRECIOUS!!!

Joe, that was the best french fries in a pasta dish I've ever had.

Highlights

Well, not that too many of you read this thing anymore, but I've decided to resurrect my blog. It needs a little bridge between October and now, though. So here we go with a little blurb of the 'in-between':

November
* Thanksgiving was small and quiet. After the scrumptious meal, we quickly high-tailed it (as to avoid any emotional breakdowns due to the empty seat at the table) to see the very scary, not-child-friendly, "A Christmas Carol." My prom date was an animator on that movie. :)

December
* HAWAII!!! For Christmas this year, we took a little vacation to paradise. It was perfect and I think I should move there. We visited 4 islands: Hawaii, Oahu, Maui, and Kauai. Maui and Oahu are my faves. Oahu has so much to do that you could have an entire week's (or more!) vacation just on that island. And Maui has insanely gorgeous beaches that you could have your entire vacation there (as long as you're a beach person!) I should really post pictures and devote at least one entry to just Hawaii. Perhaps I will.

January
* New Year's Resolution: To love.

Now
* Lord-willing, I'm heading back to Ghana this summer so all that preparation is going on now. We're selling super cute t-shirts as a fundraiser! I should devote an entire entry to those shirts. Perhaps I'll do that too.

Well, there you have it. Very brief highlights of the in-between.

Ok, now let's get to the good stuff...

I've been avoiding my blog for the last couple of weeks now. All I've wanted to blog about was my Grandmommy and I just couldn't bring myself to do it for fear of the tears. I'm learning, though, that even when you think you'll never stop crying, you will. The tears will stop and the joy will return.

It's been 3 1/2 weeks since Grandmommy went to be with Jesus and I have cried everyday since her Homegoing. I hate it, but she was one of the most important people in my life, so cry I will. Tonight I washed my hair and happened to grab one of her towels. As I type I can smell her thanks to her towel around my head. :) I love that smell!

Grandmommy was the most giving, selfless, sacrificially loving person I have ever and will ever meet. I could talk to her about anything. My talks with her are moments I will cherish for the rest of my life. She had 8 grandchildren, but when you were with her, she made you feel as if you were her only one. Gosh, I just love this lady. Our "thing" we always did together was to go grab a slice of pizza and a coke and just talk for hours. When each of the 8 grandkids were 5 years old, she and Granddaddy took us to Disney World. I've seen much of the world thanks to her. She was one of my biggest supporters in my mission trips, even though she thought I might be crazy for going. ;)

Most importantly, Grandmommy loved Jesus more than life. I know she is with Him now and is beyond ecstatic that her faith has become sight. I know I will see her again and until then, I'll be waiting for all this to be turned into dancing.

"You turned my wailing into dancing..." Psalm 30:11

Because I have to believe this...

For His Glory

On road trip #2 this weekend, I had the privilege of traveling with some friends, Chris & Cheryl, to see Reverend Wuni, pastor of a church in Ghana. I wanted to share with you the beautiful story he told us about my friend, Rebekah.

About a month after our trip to Ghana last year, my Ghanian friend, Rebekah, came down with a horrible case of malaria. Jesus ended up calling her Home after only a few days in the hospital. Her family and friends took her body to a little village just outside Tamale called Tuuningli. As her grave digger was digging, he began to ask questions about Rebekah's Jesus and by the time Rebekah's funeral was over and her body was buried, this grave digger had become a new follower of Jesus Christ! One year later, God has used this little grave digger to plant the only Christian church in this little village called Tuuningli.

God does things we can't understand that ultimately flourish with His glory. Praise the El Roi, the God who sees us, Who sees deeper and further than we can even begin to imagine.

"She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: 'You are the God who sees me,' for she said, 'I have now seen the One who sees me.'" Genesis 16:13 NIV

Psst...

Disclaimer: Blogworld, I have 2 things to tell you. This is one, however... well, it just might not be as interesting to you as it is to me. Fair warning. ;) I know it's been such a long time since we've been together, but this is just what happens when you take a road trip with your BFF.

Ode to my BFF, Nicholle.
1. aka French Fries
2. Remember when we almost ate there?
3. RIP El Mercado... and Be My Cupcake
4. Valero....... x2
5. Welp, that's embarrassing.
6. Oh and then... Psst... HUH???
7. If you don't have a Nicholle, then I highly recommend you get one. There's just something about them that makes your life.... amazing.

Feed My Sheep

Do you ever have those days when you are just dumb-founded by grace? I do. A lot. Mostly because I need His grace... a lot. Thursday was a dumb-founded by grace day.

A friend of mine retold Simon Peter's story to me today, and I encountered Jesus. You remember Peter's story: He boldly told Jesus that he would go with Him to prison and even death, but instead Peter denied His Lord three times. Once he realized what he had done, Peter spent the rest of the night weeping bitterly (Luke 22:31-34, 54-62). Even after seeing Jesus resurrected and being commissioned and given the Holy Spirit, Peter went back to fishing - his way of life prior to his relationship with Jesus (John 20-21).

Isn't it like Satan to do that? We totally mess up and he convinces us that we can't be who God created us to be. We have to return to our old way of doing things. We have to go back to our nets and fish.

But... if we listen to Jesus, we'll hear something completely different.

After helping Peter and friends catch some fish, Jesus invited them to breakfast. After breakfast, Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him three times. This is where I'm fascinated: If we could read Greek, we'd find that first, Jesus asks Peter if he "'agape's" Him. (Agape is that perfect, unconditional love God gives.) Peter answers with, "Yes, Lord. You know I 'phileo' You." (Phileo is that imperfect, friendship kind of love we, as humans, can give.)

Whoa. Peter told Jesus that his own love for Him is conditional, imperfect, and ultimately weak. Peter just confessed to the only Son of God that he is incapable of loving Him perfectly. So what happens next? Does Jesus reprimand Peter? Does He tell Peter that phileo love isn't enough? That Peter needs to work on ____, ____, and ____??

No. Jesus responds immediately with, "Feed My sheep."

Wow. Peter recognizes his own weakness, knowing that he can't 'agape' Jesus. Peter knows that he's only capable of 'phileo' love and confesses it. And JESUS ACCEPTS IT. Not only accepts it, but restores Peter and tells him to do what he was created to do: Feed His sheep. (John 21:15-19)

WOW. I'm dumb-founded.

"Satan has asked to sift you like wheat. But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And you, when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." Luke 22:31-32 (HCSB)

With a Broken Heart...

It's days like this when I remember this is not my Home. This past week was full of so many heartaches, I don't even know where to begin. (The Lord, in His infinite mercy, provided plenty of reliefs, though, so I don't mean to be a total Debbie Downer.) It's heartaches like these that lead us to cling to the Almighty:

A dissolved marriage.

A chemo patient.

A seizure.

A crime.

My heart is just in pieces for all these people. If you would say a prayer for each of the people involved in the above events, I would be so grateful. God knows who you'd be talking about. May they each find rest in the shadow of their Almighty.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High shall rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1

Tisha B'Av

I love history, especially Jewish and Christian history, so I'm giving yall a history lesson, free of charge. ;) Tonight (Thursday) at sunset through tomorrow's sunset is a Jewish fast called Tisha B'Av. According to tradition and their calendar, this is the day when both Temples were destroyed (obviously several hundred years apart). Today our Jewish friends will fast, deeply mourn, and recite Lamentations. They will be mourning the loss of the Temple and, I'm sure, will be praying for the rebuilding of a third Temple.

Let's pray for our Jewish friends today. May the Truth of Jesus resound and be revealed to them today. May their hearts be softened by their One and Only Messiah. May they know the Truth. And may that Truth set them free.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail." Lamentations 3:22 NIV

If only...

These people must've received their inspiration after watching a Ghanian wedding. :) This is perfectly normal in a Ghanian wedding - except add 50 more people walking down the aisle with the bride. If only my church would let me do this... ;)